1. Childless people
2. People whose children are now grown
If you fall into the first category, this is to give you a realistic idea of what life is like with kids. Children are a wonderful, priceless gift from God, and we love them with a love deeper than you imagine is even possible. HOWEVER, it's not all about ribbons and bows, deciding on what diaper bag is cuter, or watching a child take his first steps.
If you're in the second category, this may take you down Memory Lane. (minus the technological parts, of course.) While reading this, please let it stir up your compassion for those of us who are currently raising small children. Please understand why we may often be late for things, consider that Spaghetti-Oh's may actually have a serving of vegetables, and have a drool spot on our shoulder.
So let's get to the point. I'm going to describe how I managed to take a bath tonight, WHILE my kids were still awake, as opposed to after their bedtime.
First of all, I decided to let them watch a show to keep them calm. Good idea, right? I picked a "Go, Diego, Go!" episode on YouTube. It was in Spanish, which I figured would be considered educational at the same time. After putting in on, I quickly hopped into the bath.
Well, Sarah promptly fell out of her chair and came crying into the bathtub. She was not injured in the least, in my opinion. Whatever my opinion, however, I had to halfway get out of the tub in order to kiss the offended body part. I settled back down to my bath.
Next, Kevin turned up the volume of the show to 100 percent. When this happened, I'm sure even our neighbors could hear Diego rescuing the dolphin! At this point, both kids came crying into the bathroom with their hands over their ears. Even though they both know how to turn down the volume, they refused since it hurt their ears to go into the living room. So I got out of the tub and wrapped up in a towel. I traipsed across the house, leaving wet footprint marks over the floor that JUST GOT MOPPED this afternoon! I turned the volume back to normal. Back in the tub.
Less than 5 minutes later, both kids ran in upset again. This time, Kevin had pushed the button on the wireless router, effectively turning off the internet. Thus, no Diego.
This ended my bath. I got out and got dressed. Then I quickly wiped both kids down head to toe with a soapy towel and called that a bath, brushed their teeth, and put on their pajamas. I chose a book to read to them that had a total of about 10 pages. Then, night-night for them.
Whew!
This may help explain why we mothers of small children always wear our hair in ponytails. We simply can't figure out how to get it washed!
Good night, everyone!
Stereotypical child behavior: Sarah playing her baby doll and Kevin thrilled to find a bug!
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